Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

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